Depth Perception
by Kuri-the-Kreep
Summary: As Zim plans out his destruction of Earth, he begins to reflect on his past with Dib./ZADR


The sky's light was dying out, fading into meshes of orange's and red's. The sunset was a poison, laughing at those who enjoyed its "beauty". Zim knew the polluted air that surrounded the city made such a wonder possible. The human race knowingly destroyed their body's just so they could remark on how pretty their garbage was. Digressing from that train of thought, the alien moved his attention to the task before him.

The house he'd wasted so many years in was now disassembled; dying grass the only thing left in its wake. It didn't really matter at this point whether or not he'd left any other traces of his presence, being as the planet was going to be conquered in a few hours. Still, Zim could not help but stand before the yellowed grass and the now bloodied sky without a sense of some nostalgia. As he closed his wearied eyes, he realized he had been on this dust ball for far too long. Destruction was the only thing this planet had to offer him. It was the only thing he had to offer in return.

"Come, Gir, we have to finish our mission." Zim turned from the sight, his small robot side-kick following suit. The countless times Zim had tried to fix the thing, he had failed. Much like most of his endeavors on Earth. One last surveillance of the area, the two headed into the awaiting space ship.

-----

Unlike Earth, with all its noises and smelly organisms, space was empty and cold. A beauty that the disgusting planet below Zim could never achieve. He smirked as he looked down at the unsuspecting planet. There was nothing that could stop him now. The long, black coat he wore now was a reminder, a trophy for his success in destroying Earth's protector. Dib was gone.

The thought still sent shivers through Zim, and a feeling akin to nausea filled his squeedly splooch. It was a good feeling. He hugged the jacket closer to his body, the blue orb below him moments away from being... doomed. No Dib to stop him with his big, fat head. No plans of Zim's being ruined, forcing him to retreat back to his self-made Earth home to figure out a new plan. No more violence. No more...

Zim's antenna's twitched, and he hit the armrest of his seat with his hand. There was no more room for impertinent thoughts or feelings. He looked back down at the Earth with more anger than before. It seemed to be mocking him, reminding him now of his many weaknesses. He could feel the cold from space creep inside of his own body as he tried to rid his mind of any other thoughts than the task before him.

"I miss the monkey show." Gir said, his forlorn ever present in his screeching voice. Zim glared at the robot, unamused by its antics.

"The monkey show is gone, Gir." Zim murmured. The chill inside his body grew.

----

There was no explaining what had happened. Maybe it was cause by those stupid human hormones the teacher at school kept harping on about every day. Whatever it was, Dib was being more annoying that usual. The human seemed distracted.

Of course, Zim knew it was probably just a trick to catch him off guard. The Dib-stink had gotten more feisty over the years. Also, they no longer sat in the front of class as they had when they had been but mere grade school children. Well, Zim was never a true grade schooler. Therefor, never controlled by stupid things as seating charts. All his sacrifices were to achieve his goal. Not because he was planning to assimilate and become one with the dirty human monkeys. That would be stupid.

He looked over at the human in question with wide eyes. The human was slipping in and out of consciousness, his chin falling to rest on his chest every few minutes. Zim watched him until he lost his struggle, the boy finally falling asleep. It wasn't very admirable to do so when an Irken was watching your every move. One show of weakness and Dib was in Zim's grasp of doom and torture!

The one thing the alien hadn't accounted for was the bell. Dib's head shot up and he noticed the large eyes probing his person. Glaring back into Zim's eyes, he stood up, his backpack in hand, and started to move out with the rest of the class.

"Nothing to say to Zim, today, Dib-stink?" He asked, following Dib out of the door and around the bend in the hallway. Dib avoided eye contact.

"Go away." Dib murmured to him. He was close to the front doors, which meant he would leave Zim behind. It would leave the human time to plot against the alien. That's obviously what he wanted, the simple minded neanderthal.

Which was why, an hour later, the confusion Zim had was paramount to epic proportions. Things had started as they normally would have. Zim followed Dib. Then, the human tried to escape, run to somewhere safe where he could use that big head of his to be a stupid, crazy human. They fought, at first it was just a little rough and tumble which turned to angrily lashing out at each other. All the anger Zim built up during the fight now seeped through him. Adrenaline caused him to shiver.

Dib had been underneath him, just moments ago, panting and moaning in pain. A look of complete hatred was thrown at Zim, and he was ready to announce his victory over the human. Then, he felt the Dib-human's grip on his neck before he was pulled down until his lips were touching the other's.

It was a dirty trick, but Zim would now allow himself to be seduced by something so repulsive. Except it was harder to resist once he switched roles with Dib and was pinned underneath him. Zim could feel the blades of grass scratching against the back of his head while his mortal enemy for years was assaulting him with a kiss. He squirmed underneath the other, his hands being held down by Dib's pale ones.

A while of feeling Dib's lips against his, he felt a warmth spreading through his body. The confusion grasped the alien tighter, and before he knew how he should react to what was happening, it was over. The human moved a few inches away from him, a look of anger on his face.

"It's not a game to me anymore, Zim." With that, he got off of Zim and hurried away, leaving the alien to sit there, alone.

------

It still seemed so long ago, when Zim thought back to it. It could have happened in one of the movies that Gir seemed so fond of. The only problem was, it wasn't. After that day, confusion slowly started to wrap itself around Zim's thoughts. His life had been simple. Destroy the Earth, report to the tallest, then repeat it all over again with another planet. Now everything seemed a lot more hallow.

He looked back down at the planet. It would be better off if it were destroyed. The humans were vile creatures in the most horrible way. In an Irken society, life was so much easier. With that thought, Zim continued his preparations of destruction. The Earth wouldn't know what happened. No one would except Zim.

------

The next few months progressed, the confusion becoming more and more annoying to Zim. The Dib-stink continued confusing him. It wouldn't have unnerved him so much if he hadn't started to kiss the human back on more than one occasion. Along with the extreme violence that lead up to it all. The violence wasn't unexpected, but the degree had definitely grown over the years. It was something that was familiar, that helped him deal with whatever emotions that had begun to stir up inside of him.

The day things progressed into something deeper, the confusion once again turned into anger. It had been so long since Zim had seen Dib anywhere near his house let alone inside of it. But there he was, inside of his lab. Who knew why Dib had shown up that day, or why things happened the way that they did. Few words were spoken before Zim found himself thrown to the ground by a punch.

He got up just as quickly as he had fallen, and ran towards the other with a rage he'd never felt. Punches and kicks were given and recieved on both ends. They crashed into Zim's half-finished experiments, pushing each other into Irken machinery and computers.

"Why the fuck are you here, Dib!" He screamed, pushing the other into the wall, holding him by the collar of his trench coat. The other glared at Zim and grabbed onto his wrists.

"Because apparently you've let your defenses down, Zim!" He hit his forhead hard against Zim's, making him stumble back against the table his now broken experiments were on. He walked forward and grabbed onto Zim's wrists again, pulling his arms behind Zim's back. The alien felt vulnrable again and struggled to get free.

"Zim," Dib's voice suddenly grew soft, almost hurt. All the anger seemed to seep from the human before he let go and placed his hands on the table at Zim's sides. He looked tired and weak. They stood like that for a while, Dib looking down while Zim watched him. The sudden lack of energy that Dib had made Zim nervous. Like the filthy human was on the verge of shutting off. The thought hurt. It hurt him so much, and he couldn't comprehend why.

"Dib-stink, I could kill you right now." Zim said, leaning closer to the other, his hand moving to rest on the others arm. "But I have a feeling you wouldn't mind. And that, you stupid, stupid human, is insanity."

Dib looked at him then. His eyes weren't bright with rage or excitement. He might as well be dead. It made the alien want to scream, to shake him and invoke something that would kickstart Dib's brain, make him stop being a fool. There was no room in Zim's world for an enemy so easy to destroy. At least... Not this one.

Zim leaned over, moving until his lips were against Dib's. They were warm, and now they were Zim's. Dib's eyes widened a little. He was the one that started their earlier kisses, their touches, small as they were. It was Zim's turn, and he would do it right.

It wasn't long before Dib was kissing him back, before a fire started to rekindle inside of him. And it burned hot against Zim, against his body as the human pushed closer. He opened his lips to feel the warmth inside of his mouth. He suddenly felt so greedy. The warmth was for him, it was all his and no one else's. Dib grabbed onto his hips and pulled him up on to the table. Their tongue's pushed against each other, Zim wrapping his around Dib's. It was wonderful. It wasn't enough. He let out a whimper of impatience, knowing there was more he could get. He needed it.

Dib visibly shivered and moaned into Zim's mouth. His hands moved over Zim's shoulders, the back of his head, to his antennae. His fingers brushed lightly over them before he started to rub them. Zim could feel his body melt against the other's. Different, electrifying sensations creeped over his skin and into his body until he found himself making noises against Dib's ear. It was only then he realized Dib was licking and sucking on his neck. It wasn't enough, he was impatient for what was to come, and he wasn't even sure what it was.

"I can't stop," Dib murmered against Zim's skin, his breath rushing over him. It sounded like he was pleading with Zim, and it felt so good. Never in his life had Zim felt like he had so much power. He could feel the hardness between Dib's legs against his own. It was all for Zim. It was all his to have, and he was going to take advantage of it all.

"Zim never said you could." He replied, spreading his legs as Dib's hands moved from his antennae to the front of his pants. He cried out when Dib rubbed his palm against his erection. His mind screamed at him, telling him more when it should have been sickened by the touch. He pushed himself against the touch, ignoring the noises coming from his own mouth.

It wasn't long until Zim's pants were off, and Dib's unbuttoned. He barely registered Dib licking his fingers until he felt a stinging sensation as they pushed into him. He hissed, the feeling foreign but so good at the same time. He was laying back on the table now, and Dib leaned forward to kiss him again. Dib moved his hips against the others, causing a wonderful friction as his fingers moved inside of him. It was like the human was already inside of him. A loud moan escaped his mouth at the thought, he squeezed the other's shoulders to take some sort control of himself.

"Don't stop," he heard himself whimper. Dib didn't disappoint him. He moved fast, his fingers replaced with his cock. As he pushed into Zim, the alien did his best not to twist his body around. It was a weird sensation, painful. But it didn't matter, all that mattered was that Dib was inside Zim and it made all the sense in the world.

Dib didn't wait for any confirmation before he started to move, and quickly. And he kept stroking Zim's erection, making him cry out. It was all so fast and wonderful. Zim felt good all over, his legs wrapped around Dib's hips for more of it. They kissed, he dug his nails into Dib's back, they both groaned against each other.

It didn't last long. Not at the pace they were going. It was over too soon, the warmth had started to leave him already as Dib caught his breath as he laid on Zim's chest. The reality of it all started to creep into the alien. It wasn't regret. It wasn't anything. He just knew that this couldn't happen. That it shouldn't happen again and again like he wanted it to. This feeling...

Feeling?

He should be feeling at all.

"Get off."

--------

Zim's head was in his hands, the Earth still glowing in the distance. He couldn't stop his thoughts. It was like everything he kept inside was pouring into his mind, poisoning him, making him weaker. No, he wouldn't let Dib have the last laugh. He would just rub it in.

"No," Zim said quietly to himself. Dib was gone. No one was laughing. There was no joke there, just cruel, disturbingly painful irony. His arms crossed in front of his chest. It was all so hollow, and as he tried to peice it all together, it still did not make sense.

After Dib had left that day, angry, it did not change anything. All the hurtful words spat at each other, pretending like nothing had happened did not hide anything. It didn't lessen the emotions Zim felt. It didn't stop them from fucking in the bathroom at school. Or that alleyway. Or anywhere else their pent up emotions decided to explode. Neither of them could stop, neither of them could admit it. Sometimes they just fought and beat each other up until there was nothing left. Even after all that, Zim would find himself obsessing about the next time he would see Dib.

It never entered his mind that it would stop.

---

He knew the human hardly slept. Not because he took it upon himself to figure it out, but Dib had looked like death more than not. It was odd. Still, despite how tired he looked, he managed to smirk back at Zim.

They didn't say anything as they made their way to the school, any words would have been meaningless. Instead, Zim tried to ignore the irony of their situation. Despite how horribly conceited he was, and that in his world, the universe rotated around Zim; he knew it was pathetic. Dib never had friends, and Zim could never be friends with a human. Yet here they were, enemies, walking side-by-side. It would have been laughable to him if it were another Irken in his place. But despite it all, the fact that Dib was the only person who knew that he even was an Irken... It wasn't so lonely.

He would never tell anyone. Never Dib, his Tallest, not even to Gir in passing.

They made their way into the school, to a room upstairs. It was a room being renovated, and no one went in this early in the morning. In fact, Zim himself had "found" them a way inside the school. Human rules didn't apply to him, and that included breaking and entering. Also, this room was the best place for them, Dib had said. There were already holes in the walls and some of the furniture was broken, so when they started to fight, the destruction went unnoticed.

It wasn't like they went in their with the intention of fighting, but they both knew it would lead to that. They were enemies reguardless of anything they acted on.

Dib stood beside a window, gazing out. It was odd to see him like that. It was a silent quality, something Zim couldn't find a word for. He stood where he was, leaning against a broken desk. Despite the calm feelings Zim held, he could feel the static in the air around them. Something was going to happen, and he waited patiently, waiting for whatever Dib had in store for him.

"I'm so tired." Dib finally said, turning to look at Zim. Zim looked at him, glaring slightly, but didn't say anything back. The human started to walk about the room, studying things as if it had been the first time he noticed any of them. The alien continued to watch him.

"I don't know how much longer I can take it, Zim. I'm going crazy." He said, again meeting Zim's eyes with his own. "I'm actually going insane. And the fucked up thing is, you're the only one I can tell. Because you're the only... Well, I guess that doesn't matter."

"So do you admit defeat, Dib-worm?" Zim looked at the human, trying to figure the other out. He was acting weird. Dib sighed, and continued to walk around as if neither of them even talked. He did this for a while longer before stopping in front of Zim.

"Never."

The word left his mouth a second before Zim's fist was buried into his stomach. And they fought. No, they all-out battled, fighting each other as if their existence depended on it. And after they were too exhausted to throw punches, they fucked. It started out like it always had, hard, fast, needy. It ended different. It lasted longer, way longer than Zim would have liked. But it was softer, gentle. Not that they wanted it to be that way, surely, but that their energy was too spent to care. Maybe Zim was tired too.

Afterward, they continued on like nothing ever happened. They both left the room quietly and went to their respective classes. A normal day.

---------

It didn't end how it was supposed to. It wasn't how things were meant to be. Something that stupid, that didn't even make sense to Zim no matter how hard he tried to piece it all together. He'd seen it happen, just a few feet away. One moment, the halls in the school were calm. Then chaos as some idiot shot off a gun. Few were injured, and none mattered. None of them should have mattered to Zim, anyway. But one of the humans injured just happened to be the one that belonged to him.

Out of all the people to go to school with a gun and actually have the guts to use it, Zim was sure Dib would have been the one. He had all the classic signs from what Zim had seen on the human television. But someone so insignificant had dared to damage Zim's property.

After years being so careful to hide his identity, of making the humans believe he was one of them, Zim acted. He strode over to the trigger happy human, his pak acting with him and released its spindly appendages. Some of the metal grabbed onto the humans hand, tightening until he could the alien could register a crunching sound. He grinned as the frightened humans around him turned hysteric. More of the metallic limbs grabbed onto the human's neck, the grip forcing him to stop breathing. The Irken allowed himself to look over at the Dib-stink, registering all of the blood quickly escaping him.

An emotion the Irken wasn't familiar with began to fill his mind. Sure, he'd made the human bleed in the past, but this wasn't right. It was too fast. He let go of the shooter, not caring that his face was now purple and he hadn't regained his breath. Making his way to his property, he kneeled down, ignoring the blood, and lifted Dib up.

The human looked at him, his eyes glazed over, and smirked.

"Are you dying?" Zim asked, not really knowing what else to say. Zim was sure the other tried to laugh but instead the human just ended up coughing.

"I think so." He coughed more, in another failed effort to laugh. Zim wasn't sure why the Dib-worm thought it was so funny. He didn't think he was funny so why did the human find it so amusing?

"You know that pleasure is only for Zim to experience, so stop being stupid." Zim demanded. The whole scene seemed so surreal, like it wasn't happening, and Zim couldn't understand it. It was as if his sense of time had ceased to exist. Before he could think further about what he was feeling, he noticed the warmth leaving Dib. He wouldn't die though, the Irken wouldn't let him.

"Zim," the Dib-monkey spoke, but he was trembling," t-this really sucks. I'm the one that's supposed crazy."

He was actually able to churn out some laughter this time around, and for a moment Zim was sure the human would be fine. But his eyes were glossing over more, and he already looked dead. The alien could hear something about the human doctors arriving. Surely they wouldn't let one of their own die so disgracefully.

"You're stupid. If you die Zim will destroy the Earth." Zim said, smirking at the thought. At those words, however, Dib's eyes started to leak, and he put his arms around Zim, his face into the crook of the aliens neck. It burned the Irken, but at the moment he didn't seem to register it.

"I know." Dib's voice cracked as he murmered against Zim's neck. The Irken growled, pushing the human away.

"Stop that, its disgusting." Zim said, his voice low. Where were those stupid human healers?

Dib looked Zim in the eyes and smirked again, the water still falling from his eyes. It was then that Zim knew Dib had already been stolen from him. His own play thing, his rival... To think any further would have been too much, even though Dib's body was growing colder.

"Z-Zim," Dib looked at him, his face pleading," d-don't... I don't want to die like this."

Zim only nodded once before his body reacted, making the rest of Dib's death quick and painless.

---

The memories Zim had of Dib swirled in his mind, mimicking the motion of the clouds around the blue planet he now hovered over. It was a useless rock in the scheme of the universe, not to mention seventy-eight percent of it covered in water. Why should a planet with such a dangerous substance be allowed to survive?

The alien leaned back in his seat, looking up now at the top of his ship. He thought back to a conversation he had with Dib, it was before one of their violent fights. Zim had been wondering aloud why he hadn't destroyed the Earth yet. Then, with an expression Zim couldn't begin to decipher, Dib quietly answered,"Why bother. We're going to destroy the planet sooner or later ourselves."

Of course at the time, Zim couldn't understand how Dib could think that of his own people. Sure, the human race was stupid, but to completely obliterate itself?

In an Irken society, though there was often violence within the culture, to simply kill without motive or cause was uncommon. Most often when an Irken was murdered it was for the best of Irk as a whole. Perhaps thats why Zim's perception of humanity was skewed. While the Irken Empire was a uniform society, though it was not free from chaos, there was an absolute structure that everyone obeyed. Humans, Zim had come to find, were the complete opposite. And the few that could move the planet forward were ignored....

The jacket Dib had worn in his life was large on Zim's small frame. As the alien hugged it closer to his skin, his perception of everything stopped warping for once since Dib's death.

Dib had lost faith in humanity somewhere along the line. He'd lost his purpose in a world that chose to ignore his endeavors, or the person who accomplished them altogether. The only person to acknowledge him was Zim himself. His enemy was, ironically enough, the only one to care about or realize what his death meant. Or was the irony that Dib himself had laid out the perfect path to destroy the planet he'd tried the majority of his life to protect.

He had built the particular aircraft he was in now just for the destruction of the Earth. He realized, however, as he stood up from the control panel to the window in hopes of a closer look at Earth, he would barely lift a finger. It was a doomed planet from its beginning, Zim didn't see any problem in speeding up the process.

"Computer," he said, his voice uncharacteristically calm and quiet," locate the area of Earth where these 'nuclear bomb's are really for launch. Hack into their system, and enter the launch codes."

Sitting back down at the control panel, a cold, maniacal smirk crept across Zim's face. A horrible war was inevitable on Earth, and humanity deserved to suffer as their protector had. Gir came up to Zim's side, climbing up on the chair.

"Watcha doinnn?" He asked innocently.

"There's going to be fireworks, Gir. Go make some popcorn."

As the little robot squeeled and sang on his way to make popcorn, the invader watched the beginning of Earths demise in grim satisfaction. Dib wasn't coming to stop him this time.

Closing his eyes, Zim continued to hug the jacket close as the chaos happening below him began to unfold.

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Sorry for adding another angsty ZADR fic into the world. Perhaps next time I will do better? 8D

Invader Zim(c) Jhonen Vasquez, Viacom, Nickelodeon, Satan


End file.
